


Fun Sized

by arianapeterson19



Series: Avengers Shorts [43]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Tony, Insecure Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, Protective Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Rhodey Is a Good Bro, Sleep Deprivation, Teasing, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-06-03 12:14:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6610348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arianapeterson19/pseuds/arianapeterson19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn't that he had an issue with his height, it was that he had an issue with other people mentioning his height.</p><p>OR</p><p>The one where the team teases Tony and he doesn't take it well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fun Sized

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ebonyheart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ebonyheart/gifts), [AshleyMarie84](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshleyMarie84/gifts).



It wasn’t that he had a problem being short – not that he was short, just compact, thank you very much – it was just that he had a problem with people mentioning that he was short. It stemmed from a lifetime of daddy issues that many psychologists and biographers were itching to get their hands on but Tony Stark did not talk about Howard or his height. Anything else was fair game, politics, religion, cancer, Hitler, road kill, mass murder, nuclear anything, coffee, incest, rape, candles, hippies, masturbation, Santa, Satan, weddings, hookers, monkeys, cardboard boxes, anything. But Howard and his height were not topics he touched. And for the most no one noticed or questioned. It was all part of a well devised plan on Tony’s part; any time one of his forbidden topics came up he would say something outrageously inappropriate and talk until everyone forgot what they had been trying to have a discussion about.

Living with the Avengers changed a lot, though. For ages Tony had lived alone and suddenly he had to share his space with others. It wasn’t an issue so much of not having space – there was more than enough space – it was an issue of having people in the space that was normally empty. Most of his habits remained the same – despite the overwhelming video evidence to the contrary, Tony did not run around naked most of the time. It only became an issue when Tony stumbled upstairs, tired and just wanting a snack before showering and sleeping for a month, and he ran into someone blocking his path.

“Someone’s looking chipper,” said Clint sarcastically, eying the billionaire with a smirk.

“Move,” grunted Tony, not quite up to verbal quips.

“Or what, short stuff?” laughed Clint. “You’ll make me?”

Tony tilted his head at the archer, trying to figure out how to take that jibe. 

“Let him get his food, Clint,” said Steve fondly from where he was washing dishes at the sink, ignoring the state-of-the-art dishwasher to his right. 

“Always standing up for the little guy, Steve,” said Clint, shaking his head but stepping aside with a good natured pat to Tony’s back. 

“You know it,” replied Steve.

None of them paid attention to how quickly Tony grabbed the first thing in the fridge – carrots – and left, not even eating at the counter like he normally did. Because it wasn’t an issue, it really wasn’t. They were just teasing, they didn’t mean anything by it and Tony was a grown man, he could take a few teasing comments about his height.

“Oops, didn’t see you there,” said Thor when he ran into Tony as the genius tried to make his quick escape from the kitchen, bag of carrots in hand. “Perhaps if you wore your Iron Man suit all the time you would be easier to spot. It makes you taller, for a human.”

“Right,” mumbled Tony.

“He’s not short,” said Natasha with a wicked grin, coming out of the living room and leaning against the wall. “He’s fun sized.”

Tony rolled his eyes and continued walking. He was just about to reach the elevator when a hand appeared, pushing the button for him. Tony looked over to find Bruce standing there with a kind smile.

“I didn’t think you could reach it,” said Bruce while the others crowed with laughter.

Tony entered the elevator, waited until the doors closed, and then ordered JARVIS to take him to the workshop.

“Sir, I would advise you to go to bed,” said JARVIS gently even as the elevator headed to the workshop.

“You should also advise me to get new friends but that didn’t happen, so I’m ignoring your advice for the time being,” snipped Tony. “Lock down for Avengers. I don’t want to talk to any of them right now.”

He didn’t invent or build in the lab. He didn’t drink. He did, however, throw himself on the ground and stare up at the ceiling, arms spread out to take up more room. The ceiling itself wasn’t much to look at but after a time Tony stopped seeing it entirely, the voices of his teammates swirling around in his head so much that he could swear he actually saw the words floating by his eyes on the air. He was tired and overreacting, he knew that, but it didn’t make the words sting any less.

\- Fun Sized – 

JARVIS called Colonel Rhodes when Tony locked down the lab. The AI replayed the events and Tony’s consequent reaction for Rhodey and let the colonel take care of it from there.

And take care of it Rhodey did. There was very little in his life that actually angered James Rhodes. After being best friends with Tony Stark for decades there was little left that he hadn’t already dealt with anyway; but one thing that did infuriate Rhodey more than anything was someone messing with his best friend. It wasn’t because he didn’t think Tony could handle it – Tony could handle pretty much anything – but it was because he knew that Tony wouldn’t handle it. Tony would take the abuse and never say a word because the man had the self-esteem of a hermit crab with the same social graces. People seemed to instinctively know or guess that Tony wouldn’t call them on it so if Rhodey didn’t take care of it, no one would.

“Alright, listen up you pretentious dicks,” snarled Colonel James Rhodes, marching into the common room an hour after Tony left, looking ready to commit crimes against the Avengers. 

“What’s gotten into you?” said Clint, glaring over the top of the couch when JARVIS automatically paused the movie they had all been enjoying. “You do realize that Tony’s not in here right now, right? I think he’s in his workshop, go yell at him there and stop interrupting our movie.”

“Shut the fuck up,” said Rhodey, sending a condescending look in Clint’s direction. “If I wanted to yell at Tony then I would have gone straight to him and avoided you assholes. But I didn’t come here to yell at him, I came here because JARVIS informed me of what you all did earlier.”

“And what did we do?” asked Natasha mildly, looking for all the world like a dangerous spider just waiting for her prey to come near enough to strike.

“What’s Tony’s favorite memory of his father?” asked Rhodey, changing the subject so quickly the others got whiplash. “Or least favorite memory. Hell, I’ll take any memory Tony has shared with you lot of his dad. Go on! Tell me.”

“Tony,” said Steve slowly, sensing a trap and wanting to tread carefully. “Tony, he doesn’t talk about Howard.”

“That’s right, Tony doesn’t talk about Howard. You know why? Because Howard was a fucking bag of dicks on the best of days and no one wants to talk to a bag of dicks. You know what else Tony doesn’t talk about? His height. You want to know why he doesn’t talk about his height? It’s because his fucking father spent years putting him down about how small his kid was, how he wished he had just a bit of the super soldier serum left to inject his own kid with just so Tony would be taller and less of a disgrace. And what do you fuckers do? You fucking repeat the damn cycle when Tony’s too exhausted to deal with it! Did not a single one of you supposed world class hero’s realize that when Tony came upstairs he was on the verge of collapsing with exhaustion? He’s spent the last three and a half days working to improve your weapons and that’s how you thank him. You disgust me.”

Silence settled in the wake of Rhodey’s furious outburst. At least the Avenger’s had the good grace to look ashamed.

“Now,” said Rhodey after several deep breaths. “This is how it’s going to work. You all are never going to mention this little encounter. You will not make fun of Tony for his height. The next time you see my genius you’re going to do something nice for him as a way to apologize. Understand?”

Everyone nodded and mumbled their agreement.

“Good. Now I’m going to go put my best friend to bed. I expect one of you lot to do this next time since I actually have a job that requires me to not be around to take care of Tony. Don’t bother him for at least 24 hours.”

With that, Rhodey marched out of the room, leaving the disgraced Avengers sitting around the silent living room. And if JARVIS refused to help the Avengers for the 24 hours it took Tony to sleep off his exhaustion, then no one mentioned it or complained.

**Author's Note:**

> My goal for the next three weeks is to update every story I have currently going - some multiple times. That also includes the story that started it all, my first ever Avengers fanfic series, the one that is not attached to this set of shorts. Wish me luck!
> 
> Always,  
> Ari


End file.
